Sexual violence knows no borders: it affects all social classes, all ages, all genders. Too often he’s accepted with a shrug just because he’s faced with it all the time. Sexual violence is an instrument of humiliation and the exercise of power. It’s ordinary. But she shouldn’t …

Sexual violence knows no borders: it affects all social classes, all ages, all genders. Too often he’s accepted with a shrug just because he’s faced with it all the time. Sexual violence is an instrument of humiliation and the exercise of power. It’s ordinary. But it shouldn’t be: it’s not part of normal life whether you’re getting caught in the butt in the club, followed on the way home, or kissing on the tram and cars honking as you pass by. It is also not part of normal life that even in relationships you are under so much pressure that in the end a “no” is not enough.

Sexualized violence starts on a small scale, in a few words, with a few gestures – and tolerating the supposed “harmlessness” means that the egregious things are somehow seen as not so bad. In addition, those affected are often confronted with prejudice and blame instead of being encouraged, understood and supported. The people concerned are therefore wary of their own perception and often see themselves as guilty. We women also learn from an early age to behave: “Avoid dark streets, do not go out alone, do not wear a skirt too. short “. As if our allegedly bad behavior is to blame – and not that of the perpetrator. This makes it difficult for those affected to confide in other people and ask for help. We must therefore start believing those who are affected! We need to start thinking about our own behavior and that of those around us. We all know the people involved, but no one knows the alleged perpetrators? This cannot be true!

Whenever we don’t criticize the friend who takes girls by the ass, when we defend ourselves for our friend who attacks the women in the club with the words “He’s really drunk right now” when we make victims with the sentences “Now”. didn’t meet you like that, I was sure I thought so nicely – always then we are part of the system. By looking away, listening and apologizing, we put the facts into perspective.

We need to start dismantling the systems that tolerate or allow something like this. It can be uncomfortable, but nothing else will help. Sexual violence extremely rarely stems from a stranger leaping out of the bushes at night: we encounter the problem not only in dark corners, but in everyday life – and the most common crime scene is our own four walls. . Ultimately, we are all responsible for the type of society we live in. (kuni)